SOYLENT GREEN RATION CRACKERS

½ cup whole wheat flour ½ cup oat flour ½ cup almond flour 2 tbsp water 2 tbsp matcha green tea powder 2 tbsp tahini 2 tbsp honey 2 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp kosher salt ½ tbsp sesame oil Extra salt for dusting

Mix water, tahini, honey, olive oil, and sesame oil into a paste as dense as the population.

Mix everything else in a separate, cleaner bowl.

Cause a riot by mixing the two. You should end up with a dense green dough.

Lightly spritz a sheet of aluminum foil with nonstick spray.

Put the dough in the middle of the foil and press it down with your fingers.

Put a sheet of waxed paper on top.

Roll the dough until it’s as thin as a pie crust.

Trim away the uneven scraps. Use them to patch up any holes in the dough.

Carefully transfer the aluminum foil to a cookie sheet.

Lightly dust the top with extra salt.

Use an oiled pizza cutter to cut the crackers into squares. Poke each square twice with a fork.

Bake at 300F for 6-10 minutes, or until the edges just barely turn brown. Don’t overcook or they’ll be as ruined as a burnt out city.

Let cool for 30 minutes before distributing as rations.

Serve with luxuries like a teaspoon of strawberry jam or nutritious protein rich hummus alongside the Soylent Corporation’s new line of long pork rinds.

* Ingredients subject to change without notice depending on the quality of the annual plankton harvest.

#crackers #geeky